Great Expectations 1998

Title : Great Expectations

Trailer

Kissing in the rain ost from the movie

"I'm not going to tell the story the way it happened. I'm going to tell it the way I remember it."

Cycled for a measly 10 kilometres just now.. Need to let go of some steam… anyways,

Everyone should have some sort of defining moments that shapes them to be what they are now.  Mine started with this story called… “Great Expectations”.

How do I say this, I felt the presence of this thing so called “love” at quite a late age. During my childhood days, My dad left my mom when I was 5 and for a few good years my mom had her own way of dealing with the situation which causes all my siblings including me to be somewhat independent in the things we do. My mom was doing what she can to cope with the pain of my dad leaving her and I don’t blame her for doing what she had to do.

When I was in primary school, I never understood why girls give me stuff. They gave me little cute looking notebooks, chocolates and candies. Because I did not understand their intentions, I replied by throwing gold dust on them(hair)… and of course.. they cried and I laughed.  At that age, I was only interested in Transformers figurines and playing video games. I only started liking girls or start to develop feelings for them when I was 14, after I read that book called great expectations.

Kids nowadays however,umur 10 tahun dah tahu pasal boyfriend and girlfriend.  By then, they would have already have a girlfriend or boyfriend and by 11-12 they should have experienced their first breakup…  Those years I don’t know shite about any of that. (Now it seems I know too much..ehem.. moving on..)

It was during an English class that we were given an assignment to read a book and write a summary of it. I guess that was the first time I step foot in a library to look for the thinnest english novel I could find.  Somehow I stumbled upon Great Expectations which was created by Charles Dickens , a British author (lets pronounce British as the brits do shall we ,… BRE’-ISH..haha). So I took the book and read it.

The story is about a boy named Pip and a girl named Estella. (If I do get married and have baby girls, I would name them Estella ‘something’ and Anezka  ‘something’. Why Estella?, because I was so moved by great expectations, Why Anezka? Well… let’s just leave that explanation for some other day). Pip, a poor boy, due to some unforeseen events met with Estella(a young rich girl under the care of and old unmarried woman). This old woman has a goal for Estella. You see, this old woman was ditch during her own wedding day and ever since then she became crazy and wore the same wedding dress every day for years till she died. Her goal was to train Estella to become cold hearted, to not feel heartbroken as she did so she trained her and Pip was one of the tools used in the training. 

She organized as such that they(Pip and Estella) would spend as much time  together until Pip develop feelings for her that he can no longer keep to himself. This takes place for a few years till they both become young adults. It was after this was revealed that she(the old woman) decided to the break his heart by transferring Estella to another city and says to Pip that Estella is not meant for him, and she will never be his. Estella by this time had become quite the cold hearted bitch after years of training by her mentor, but she did still feel something for Pip though when they were together but couldn’t understand what the feeling meant.

Cutting the story short, Pip grew up and accumulates a lot of wealth, while Estella got married to some schmuck which later left her and her little kid sometime later.  In the end, Pip and Estella found each other again in the old mansion where they first met, not so young anymore(mid 30’s) but they did get what they have always wanted, which is to be together.

After reading this I was like ..waaa. The story is not for young kids especially not for somebody who’s  14 at the time back in 1997, It’s not like a normal love story you see nowadays because its more complex and mature. Not many would appreciate such story, but I did. I think a year after that in 1998, The movie Great Expectations came out starring my favourite hottie at the time Gwyneth Palthrow and Ethan Hawke.  It was a good movie, again not your typical romance films but it was just as good as the book. You should watch it if you haven’t and if you like it as well then let me know ;). More variation of great expectations were made. The latest was a short British mini series which came out late last year, Just as good but the girl tak lawa sangat la (tak lawa langsung actually).

"She'll only break your heart, it's a fact. And even though I warn you, even though I guarantee you that the girl will only hurt you terribly, you'll still pursue her. Ain't love grand?'

So,I guess you can say that I never had what a typical normal kid should have during childhood, a good happy family, watching tv together and laughing together during dinner time or something like that but I did cherish every moment and made the best of what I’ve got. Whenever I go to family gatherings, especially if I am seated at the dinner table, I feel uncomfortable simply because I am not used to the whole environment, even till now. It is good to know not many have experienced what I have and it should remain that way. Some of us are fortunate to already know and felt  love when they were young, taught and shown by their parents. Whereas, there exist people like myself that has to search on his own to find out what is it all about.

Sometimes I wonder, maybe it is true that I still don’t know what love is. Maybe it is true that I suck in relationships and maybe it’s true that during my search for this thing called “love”, I get burned many times. However, maybe…just maybe, because of all the painful experiences I have felt from understanding what love is, from a child perspective after witnessing what my dad did to my mom, from a sibling perspective when my older brother passed away, from a friend perspective when one of my really good friend betrays my trust and from my own personal experiences going thru relationships makes me a person who would in the end ..appreciate Love the most, to understand that if you do not go the distance, make an effort or sacrifices to make it work, then it probably won’t and that trust is about believing in each other till the very end despite all odds. Perhaps that’s why I am able to translate what I have experienced unto words and expressions so that others don’t have to go thru what  I had to, when I have been there and they have not.

“How can you really appreciate the taste of something sweet if you haven’t fully experienced the taste of sour? “

Okay enough of that..Oh yea.. I haven’t told you about the first(and only) horrific blind date I had..  next post la I share…  ;)